Well, I am finally getting around to my next blog post. I intended to be really good about updating but the last several months have been busy and there has not been a lot of news on the adoption front, until last week. I didn't want to post our bad news until I knew that it was going to be followed by good news so make sure you read all the way through (or skip to the end if you want). In my last post in June I shared that we were waiting for a match with a specific child. We were logged in the China's computer system (LID) on May 15. We were told that the wait for a girl under 18 months would be about 3-6 months. A few days later we got an email from our agency saying it would be more like 6-9 months. Wonderful! We were shocked on the morning of July 15 (exactly 2 months into our wait) when we received a call from our social worker saying they had a file for us to review and we had 48 hours to decide whether or not we wanted to accept it. We frantically started calling doctors to have them review the file and help us make a decision. Aaron and I could not decide one way or the other and neither of us had a strong feeling about what we should do. The little girl was 15 months old so she was a couple months younger than Isla, which is what we wanted. We went to bed Monday night confused about what our decision should be and we prayed that we would have an obvious sign as to what we should do. On Tuesday morning we received a call from our social worker who said that there had been a mix up with the new computer system in China and more than one agency, therefore more than one family, had been given this same file to review. They told us they would get back to us when the figured out who locked the file first. After talking with our doctors, we decided that if this child's file was available to us then we would accept it. I took this to be the obvious sign that we had prayed for the night before. We waited by the phone until the next day when we received a call from our social worker saying that another family had locked the child's file first. We were disappointed and upset but relieved to know that she had another family fighting to bring her home. Our social worker told us that we were on the top of the list and could expect another file in the next one to three months.
On August 8th we received another phone call from our social worker saying that there had been another glitch in the Chinese computer system and a file had been locked for us on Monday night and no one knew about it until that morning (Thursday). We were told we had 8 hours to decide. This computer system seemed to have it out for our family! We couldn't believe that this was happening to us again. The baby was around 11 months old but very small. She was very small at birth and was not growing as she should. Our doctor diagnosed her as Failure the Thrive and explained that there would likely be serious complications down the road. After consulting with our doctors we decided that this child was not the right fit for our family.
Then, on August 29 we received another phone call form our social worker saying they had another file for us to look at. This time it was a partnership file with our agency so we had two weeks to make a decision and more detailed reports, pictures, and videos. This little girl was about 10 months old and had a severe cleft lip and cleft palate and was diagnosed with developmental delays. She was also very small. While the complexity and severity of the lip and palate were very concerning, we were more concerned with the diagnosis of developmental delays. All of the kids in orphanages have some delays from lack of opportunity, but this was likely more serious delays. Aaron and I both quickly realized that this baby was not meant to be our daughter and turned the file down within a few hours.
At this point we were beginning to feel very discouraged and felt as though we were being too picky and wondering if we would ever find our daughter. I reached out to some other parents in my adoptive Facebook group and got the immediate support and encouragement that I needed. I heard story after story of families turning down multiple file (some in the double digits). We knew we had made the right choices for our family but it is still very difficult. I still pray for those two babies and hope that they have found their forever families.
On Monday, September 9 the shared list came out in China and our agency locked a file for us. Around 9:15 p.m. I was laying in bed dozing off and my phone rang. It was Sarah, our social worker calling and she shared the news that they had another file for us to review. I walked into the living room, shared the news with Aaron and grabbed the computer to open the email. We both saw her and read the file and had a very good feeling about it. After researching her orphanage and talking with a few other families on my adoption Facebook group we went to bed. I was so excited I was planning the trip in my head. I was thinking about the details, the weather that time of the year, what I would pack, etc. Needless to say I didn't fall asleep for a few hours.
After talking with our doctors and specialist the following days, we were back and forth about what to do. Late Wednesday night we both finally agreed that we would accept the file and we sent our Letter of Intent (LOI) to our social worker who forwarded it on to China.
Mid morning on Thursday I received a call from our social worker that we had already received Prior Approval (PA). Usually PA takes about 2 weeks and in less than 12 hours were had been approved. At this point we were allowed to publicly introduce our daughter!
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